is your mom at the bar?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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