this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
