It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize