This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
