I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
