Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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