oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
