you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
