I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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