i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
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