if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Randomize
