So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
