So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
