Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
