Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
