I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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