piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
