All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
