After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
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