just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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