Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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