Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
