He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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