i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
