They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize