She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
