3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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