Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
