What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
