hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
