You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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