If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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