I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
