I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
