That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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