May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
