that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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