you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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