after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
