Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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