Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
