After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
