YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
