Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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