she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
