just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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