She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
