you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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