dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
ugly people sure do ruin things
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
