I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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