i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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