they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Someone signed my nipple.
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