Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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