that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
