I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
