i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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