We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
