youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
