dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
