I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
