also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
