yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
