i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
