i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
how do flat chested girls get laid?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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