I wanna bring you to show and tell
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i black out too much to be "responsible"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
